I have decided to move my stories to a freewebs account (well now its just webs, but whatever). I know what youre thinking "Freewebs is for idiot twelve year old who think they can make their won website" But I say "Nay, we are but men" and besides, Ive spent my entire day making pages and editing pages and doing a whole bunch of work to make YOU people (all 4 of you =D) happy!
So enjoy it, whores.
here is my freewebs
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Royally Buttraped.
Today, I was buttfucked. The culprit? I wanna Be the Guy: The Movie: The Game. I saw a video about this game on youtube, and heard it was the hardest game ever. So, being a sucker for masochistically delicious games, I downloaded it. I thought "Fuck yeah, its like Megaman, Contra, Ninja Gaiden and a whole bunch of cheap deaths combined into one!"
I was right.
Not only was I right, I died twelve times on the FIRST SCREEN. TWELVE. Now, Im no stranger to one hit kills, but flying apples (or giant cherries, whatever) speed past you twice as fast as you do! And they fly upwards! GAH!
And screen two... oh my GAWD. Screen two is so terrible. It hurts my soul (and butt) to even think about it.
I will make a video eventually and SHOW you how hardcore this game is.
And you will feel buttfucked by just watching it.
I love this game.
I was right.
Not only was I right, I died twelve times on the FIRST SCREEN. TWELVE. Now, Im no stranger to one hit kills, but flying apples (or giant cherries, whatever) speed past you twice as fast as you do! And they fly upwards! GAH!
And screen two... oh my GAWD. Screen two is so terrible. It hurts my soul (and butt) to even think about it.
I will make a video eventually and SHOW you how hardcore this game is.
And you will feel buttfucked by just watching it.
I love this game.
Friday, June 12, 2009
untitled story, chapter 1
The bombs fell on August 19, 2156. The warning signs were all over. We were told it was coming for a long time. Decades. Nobody would do anything. America declared war on Russia. That’s when the bombs fell. No one was prepared for the destruction America received. Nobody that wasn’t in a bomb shelter lived for more than two days. Liquefied or burnt to death from the blasts. My great-grandfather survived. He saw all of it firsthand. But now, now I have to survive. I’m living in the apocalypse. Raiders don’t come by anymore at least. Save for one or two stragglers a month. Then there was the night everything changed…
I was dozing off in my makeshift bed, pistol in hand. I was afraid to sleep, there have been more raiders in the area lately. Despite myself, I slept for one, maybe two hours. I awoke to gunfire and yells. Raiders. I kept silent as I turned the safety off on my pistol and crept down to the first floor as slowly as possible. Four raiders. Running around in town, blasting everyone, man, woman or child into bits. No mercy. They’ve lost their minds, and they seem to be fine with it. They take food, weapons, anything except hostages. There were six houses in the makeshift town, including mine. I took off, trying to save myself, or stop the raiders.
I saw a straggler taking a piss on a dead man, and I took my chance. I took out my knife and crept up to him. I was just about tot attack when he turned around, finished. I leaped at him and stabbed him repeatedly in the neck and stomach. He didn’t have time to scream. He was gurgling his last few breaths and I looked back towards the other raiders. They were torturing a family. Making the mother choose which child dies first. I picked up the rifle the raider was carrying and took a potshot towards the raiders. I hit on the foot and he fell, screaming. In retaliation, he shot both kids. “You fucks!” I shouted and charged towards them in a fit of blind rage. I took out my pistol and fired off three shots. One landed a raider in the chest, while another in the arm. I charged towards the one who shot the kids and started beating him with my bare hands. I picked up a rock and repeatedly bashed him in the head as hard as possible.
I got ripped of the mess of blood and tissue and started receiving my own beating from the raider that was shot in the arm. I pushed my fingers into his wound until he couldn’t stand it and get rolled over in pain. I took his shotgun and spent a shell in the back of his skull. The last raider was female, and she was dying. I let her suffer.
The woman was cradling her dead kids in her arms, crying. After a while in this waste, you get used to seeing this shit. I left her to her grieving and looked around the town for survivors. The only house that wasn’t attacked was mine. Damn it. Me and the woman are the only survivors. I went back to her to talk to her. “Come with me.” I said warmly.
“Why? Where will we go?” she wailed back.
“I’m not sure, but anywhere’s better than here.” I offered her my hand. She took it and stood up. We buried her children and we took what we could. I tried to make small talk, and learned her name was Stacey. We took hold in a semi-standing barn for the night when she woke me up.
“Frank, Frank.” She whispered and nudged me.
“Huh?!” I grumbled.
“I hear something outside the barn. Whispers.” Shit, I thought. I picked up my rifle and checked out around the barn. I looked around the corner and saw a dog sniffing at the barn door. I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried back to my bed. There were two raiders standing at the entrance, waiting for me. They had Stacey held at gunpoint and were calling my name. I saw them first and shot one of them in the side of the head. The other one turned to me and fired. I took on in the shoulder. I took out my pistol and fired a few rounds through the searing pain. To my luck, a round pegged the raider in the stomach and he collapsed. There was one more who had Stacey at gunpoint. I walked into the barn, and stared him dead in the eyes.
“One more step man. Shell be the new fucking wallpaper in here.” He shouted, wild eyed. He was scared. Desperate.
“Listen, just let her go, and I won’t put two rounds in your fucking skull. You think Ill lose sleep over your scummy ass blood on my hands? I’ll be doing everyone a favor.”
“Listen shit-head! I will fuck you up! Don’t fuck with me! I’ll, I’ll-” He pointed his gun at me. Perfect chance, now or never. I drew my pistol and fired two rounds. Both hit him square in the head. Stacey was okay, if a bit shaken, so I let her sleep. I took watch the rest of the night.
The next morning, I got patched up, packed up, and we left. We walked for I don’t know how long. Where we were going, what we would do when we got there, it didn’t matter. We survived.
I was dozing off in my makeshift bed, pistol in hand. I was afraid to sleep, there have been more raiders in the area lately. Despite myself, I slept for one, maybe two hours. I awoke to gunfire and yells. Raiders. I kept silent as I turned the safety off on my pistol and crept down to the first floor as slowly as possible. Four raiders. Running around in town, blasting everyone, man, woman or child into bits. No mercy. They’ve lost their minds, and they seem to be fine with it. They take food, weapons, anything except hostages. There were six houses in the makeshift town, including mine. I took off, trying to save myself, or stop the raiders.
I saw a straggler taking a piss on a dead man, and I took my chance. I took out my knife and crept up to him. I was just about tot attack when he turned around, finished. I leaped at him and stabbed him repeatedly in the neck and stomach. He didn’t have time to scream. He was gurgling his last few breaths and I looked back towards the other raiders. They were torturing a family. Making the mother choose which child dies first. I picked up the rifle the raider was carrying and took a potshot towards the raiders. I hit on the foot and he fell, screaming. In retaliation, he shot both kids. “You fucks!” I shouted and charged towards them in a fit of blind rage. I took out my pistol and fired off three shots. One landed a raider in the chest, while another in the arm. I charged towards the one who shot the kids and started beating him with my bare hands. I picked up a rock and repeatedly bashed him in the head as hard as possible.
I got ripped of the mess of blood and tissue and started receiving my own beating from the raider that was shot in the arm. I pushed my fingers into his wound until he couldn’t stand it and get rolled over in pain. I took his shotgun and spent a shell in the back of his skull. The last raider was female, and she was dying. I let her suffer.
The woman was cradling her dead kids in her arms, crying. After a while in this waste, you get used to seeing this shit. I left her to her grieving and looked around the town for survivors. The only house that wasn’t attacked was mine. Damn it. Me and the woman are the only survivors. I went back to her to talk to her. “Come with me.” I said warmly.
“Why? Where will we go?” she wailed back.
“I’m not sure, but anywhere’s better than here.” I offered her my hand. She took it and stood up. We buried her children and we took what we could. I tried to make small talk, and learned her name was Stacey. We took hold in a semi-standing barn for the night when she woke me up.
“Frank, Frank.” She whispered and nudged me.
“Huh?!” I grumbled.
“I hear something outside the barn. Whispers.” Shit, I thought. I picked up my rifle and checked out around the barn. I looked around the corner and saw a dog sniffing at the barn door. I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried back to my bed. There were two raiders standing at the entrance, waiting for me. They had Stacey held at gunpoint and were calling my name. I saw them first and shot one of them in the side of the head. The other one turned to me and fired. I took on in the shoulder. I took out my pistol and fired a few rounds through the searing pain. To my luck, a round pegged the raider in the stomach and he collapsed. There was one more who had Stacey at gunpoint. I walked into the barn, and stared him dead in the eyes.
“One more step man. Shell be the new fucking wallpaper in here.” He shouted, wild eyed. He was scared. Desperate.
“Listen, just let her go, and I won’t put two rounds in your fucking skull. You think Ill lose sleep over your scummy ass blood on my hands? I’ll be doing everyone a favor.”
“Listen shit-head! I will fuck you up! Don’t fuck with me! I’ll, I’ll-” He pointed his gun at me. Perfect chance, now or never. I drew my pistol and fired two rounds. Both hit him square in the head. Stacey was okay, if a bit shaken, so I let her sleep. I took watch the rest of the night.
The next morning, I got patched up, packed up, and we left. We walked for I don’t know how long. Where we were going, what we would do when we got there, it didn’t matter. We survived.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
My Top Ten Video Game Villains of all Time, part 1
Lists. Everybody loves lists. I decided to make a yummy delicious list for you today. Here are my top ten video game villains of all time (not limited to bosses)
10) Nazis. Yes, Nazis. They are the antagonists of so many games I don't even want to think about it. Everyone has played at least some sort of WWII game, right? Think about this, lets say you kill two Nazis a minute. Lets say this game takes eight hours to beat, not including cutscenes, or loading/menu screens. That's (if my math is correct) 960 Nazis PER GAME. Hardcore man.
9) Wesker from the Resident Evil series. Okay, so you only fight him once in the series (I think) and hes not even IN most games, but you know hes there. Hes watching, hes got everything planned, and hes just biding his time until he can KICK YOUR ASS. He was even in the new RE CG movie. The live action ones dont exist. They are a lie.
8) Darth Revan from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Though you mostly hear about Malak, and only end up fighting the Sith master, Revan is always in the back of your head. Who is Revan? Not many know, most believe he is dead. But is he? Its a nagging question, and results in one of the greatest plots in Star Wars history. So why is Revan in the number 8 spot? Because hes like Wesker, hes always there, yet unlike Wesker, things are a bit more personal...
7) True Dracula, Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. This game has some epic boss fights, but none more so than the final boss(es). First, you fight Death AND Dracula at the same time! As if that werent hard enough, Death has some new tricks up is sleeve and Dracula has a one hit kill attack. After you beat that evil duo, Dracula absorbs Deaths (life?) force and becomes True Dracula. Jeeesus Christ. You havent seen a Castlevania boss until you see THIS guy. It took me a month before I found out how to fill him, and damn was it hard. So why isnt this guy number one if hes so hard? Because, while he IS epic, he isnt as epic as some of the other guys on this list. (warning, possible spoilers in video)
Thats the first part of my top 10, check back later (probably next week) for the last 5!
10) Nazis. Yes, Nazis. They are the antagonists of so many games I don't even want to think about it. Everyone has played at least some sort of WWII game, right? Think about this, lets say you kill two Nazis a minute. Lets say this game takes eight hours to beat, not including cutscenes, or loading/menu screens. That's (if my math is correct) 960 Nazis PER GAME. Hardcore man.
9) Wesker from the Resident Evil series. Okay, so you only fight him once in the series (I think) and hes not even IN most games, but you know hes there. Hes watching, hes got everything planned, and hes just biding his time until he can KICK YOUR ASS. He was even in the new RE CG movie. The live action ones dont exist. They are a lie.
8) Darth Revan from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Though you mostly hear about Malak, and only end up fighting the Sith master, Revan is always in the back of your head. Who is Revan? Not many know, most believe he is dead. But is he? Its a nagging question, and results in one of the greatest plots in Star Wars history. So why is Revan in the number 8 spot? Because hes like Wesker, hes always there, yet unlike Wesker, things are a bit more personal...7) True Dracula, Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. This game has some epic boss fights, but none more so than the final boss(es). First, you fight Death AND Dracula at the same time! As if that werent hard enough, Death has some new tricks up is sleeve and Dracula has a one hit kill attack. After you beat that evil duo, Dracula absorbs Deaths (life?) force and becomes True Dracula. Jeeesus Christ. You havent seen a Castlevania boss until you see THIS guy. It took me a month before I found out how to fill him, and damn was it hard. So why isnt this guy number one if hes so hard? Because, while he IS epic, he isnt as epic as some of the other guys on this list. (warning, possible spoilers in video)
6) The Hydra, from God of War. No, fuck Ares, and Fuck the M
inotaur, in my world, the Hydra is king, this thing is like 3 boss fights smooshed together. This entire level should be on the list, because its so awesome, not only that, but you encounter the Hydra twice before the battle even begins! This beast just cant wait for you to put it down. And not only all this, but fro a first boss, this guy was HARD. If you were playing Spartan, this thing will break your fucking balls off. Yeah. That shit happens.
inotaur, in my world, the Hydra is king, this thing is like 3 boss fights smooshed together. This entire level should be on the list, because its so awesome, not only that, but you encounter the Hydra twice before the battle even begins! This beast just cant wait for you to put it down. And not only all this, but fro a first boss, this guy was HARD. If you were playing Spartan, this thing will break your fucking balls off. Yeah. That shit happens.Thats the first part of my top 10, check back later (probably next week) for the last 5!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Good, Evil and the idea of war.
Good and evil are strange things. Drawn to show us that they are so separate, completely different from each other. They are like Black and White. But, my friends, I don’t believe that is true. I think we are told that good and evil are two separate entities to justify actions, otherwise not sanctioned by our culture.
Take the popular concept of ‘an eye for an eye’ as an example. If a man brutally murders someone in the heat of passion, then does he really deserve the same? Most may say yes, but why? He committed an evil act, yes. But if we were to kill him, that would be just as bad. Why would we kill someone because they have done the same? Is that good or evil?
It depends on the point of view, the person being killed would think that this was an act of harsh evil and hate, yet the person killing the victim will have a perfectly good explanation to tell himself, so he can go home and kiss his wife and sleep at night. Is this the society we live in? Where if someone kills in spite, then someone else can do the same thing for ‘justice’?
Just because ‘justice’ is involved does not mean it’s the ‘good’ thing to do. I believe the only reason to ever kill or hurt somebody is in self defense. Does that mean I’m a ‘good’ person? Fuck no, I can be a terrible person, as anyone who knows me can tell you. But that doesn’t mean that I cant be a nice guy when it suits me. There’s another good point. We are good people when it suits us. Don’t deny it. If someone will be nice to you or give you something, you will kiss their ass. But if you cant get anything out of it, why do it? I’m guilty of it to, I’m no saint, trust me, but I try to better myself, if only to make myself happier.
Why hate? Why hurt? Is there a point? No, no point at all. Nearly anything can be solved with agreements instead of guns and explosives. But, back to my main point. If we have differing viewpoints, why do we fight? If I am an atheist, why does a Christian have to fight with my viewpoint? Taking this on a larger scale, if Kim Jong Il disagrees with Americans, why cant he talk to our govt.? He has to be rash, hateful, angry. Not to say Americans aren’t assholes. Because we are (G-Bay anyone?). Americans are just as evil and spiteful as any other nation, and always will be, because that’s how the world works.
I firmly believe that humans will never get along, whites hate blacks, blacks hate whites. Koreans hate Americans, Al Qaeda and Muslim extremists hate pretty much everyone else, and pretty much everyone else hates them. Why the hate? WE AREN'T 'GOOD' PEOPLE.
Bringing up something else, 911. They (apparently) attacked us. We attacked them. But why the killing? Muslim extremists say we are blasphemous infidels, who need to be eradicated, Americans think that shotguns are the answer to all the worlds problems. Will we ever get along? I firmly believe that the end of humanity will be ourselves, because we cant see past differences in culture, religion, and government. You’re free to your opinion, and I’m open for debate, so leave comments.
“I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
“The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
“If religion were true, its followers would not try to bludgeon their young into an artificial conformity; but would merely insist on their unbending quest for truth, irrespective of artificial backgrounds or practical consequences.”
H.P. Lovecraft
“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.”
H.P. Lovecraft
Take the popular concept of ‘an eye for an eye’ as an example. If a man brutally murders someone in the heat of passion, then does he really deserve the same? Most may say yes, but why? He committed an evil act, yes. But if we were to kill him, that would be just as bad. Why would we kill someone because they have done the same? Is that good or evil?
It depends on the point of view, the person being killed would think that this was an act of harsh evil and hate, yet the person killing the victim will have a perfectly good explanation to tell himself, so he can go home and kiss his wife and sleep at night. Is this the society we live in? Where if someone kills in spite, then someone else can do the same thing for ‘justice’?
Just because ‘justice’ is involved does not mean it’s the ‘good’ thing to do. I believe the only reason to ever kill or hurt somebody is in self defense. Does that mean I’m a ‘good’ person? Fuck no, I can be a terrible person, as anyone who knows me can tell you. But that doesn’t mean that I cant be a nice guy when it suits me. There’s another good point. We are good people when it suits us. Don’t deny it. If someone will be nice to you or give you something, you will kiss their ass. But if you cant get anything out of it, why do it? I’m guilty of it to, I’m no saint, trust me, but I try to better myself, if only to make myself happier.
Why hate? Why hurt? Is there a point? No, no point at all. Nearly anything can be solved with agreements instead of guns and explosives. But, back to my main point. If we have differing viewpoints, why do we fight? If I am an atheist, why does a Christian have to fight with my viewpoint? Taking this on a larger scale, if Kim Jong Il disagrees with Americans, why cant he talk to our govt.? He has to be rash, hateful, angry. Not to say Americans aren’t assholes. Because we are (G-Bay anyone?). Americans are just as evil and spiteful as any other nation, and always will be, because that’s how the world works.
I firmly believe that humans will never get along, whites hate blacks, blacks hate whites. Koreans hate Americans, Al Qaeda and Muslim extremists hate pretty much everyone else, and pretty much everyone else hates them. Why the hate? WE AREN'T 'GOOD' PEOPLE.
Bringing up something else, 911. They (apparently) attacked us. We attacked them. But why the killing? Muslim extremists say we are blasphemous infidels, who need to be eradicated, Americans think that shotguns are the answer to all the worlds problems. Will we ever get along? I firmly believe that the end of humanity will be ourselves, because we cant see past differences in culture, religion, and government. You’re free to your opinion, and I’m open for debate, so leave comments.
“I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
“The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
“If religion were true, its followers would not try to bludgeon their young into an artificial conformity; but would merely insist on their unbending quest for truth, irrespective of artificial backgrounds or practical consequences.”
H.P. Lovecraft
“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.”
H.P. Lovecraft
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